EP 119
Welcome fellow confidence crusaders, neuro nerds and success equalizers. This is your podcast, Real Confidence. I'm your host, Alyssa Dver, and I'll be sharing a bit of basic brain science, some surprising social secrets and a touch of tough love. Why? Because I believe confidence is everyone's fundamental right and choice. So let's get to it.
Alyssa:
American confidence Institute, ACI, is 10 years old. I'm like, what 10 years it's been? And of course, the last 10 years have been, whoa. Let's just say confidence challenging for everyone. But when I look back and I think how things have changed in terms of the knowledge information and understanding of what confidence is and how it manifests, a lot has changed, and yet a lot has not. What do I mean by that?
Well, back in the day in 2015, 2016, 2017 and so forth, all the way to probably the last four or five years, when I used to talk about the amygdala, people would look at me like I was speaking literal Greek. But today, amygdala is kind of common knowledge for at least many people, and the whole idea of brain science doesn't freak people out like it used to. I think there's a general acceptance of fake it till you make it is fake, and you can't just count breathe or be gracious and hope that everything's going to be fine. Certainly, those things are helpful strategies to calm the amygdala down, but at the same time, you have to do a little bit more thinking, a little bit more inner work to decide how you want to respond just those fears. Just respond to that thing that is signaling your brain that this is uncomfortable. So emotional regulation in emotional intelligence, yeah, we've kind of been through those cycles, too.
I think that at the end of the day, what we really are centering on, which is, thankfully, something that I've been talking about now for 10 years, is the fact that when your brain is telling you that there's something potentially dangerous, dangerous to your physical being potentially dangerous to your emotional well, being potentially dangerous to your ego, if you're tuned into those signals, particularly for yourself, then you can make better decisions on how you want to respond. Now, how other people are going to respond? Well, again, those that knowledge, that understanding of the brain and how it works, gives you that leg up, gives you an advantage when you're talking to other people, but you can't make an assessment on the spot about that person and their experiences, their traumas, and how they're going to respond. So worrying about how you want to show up in the world, that's really, the end of the day, the goal, right? And the more that you practice that mindfulness, I'll call it, even though it's not meditation and being in touch with your feelings, it's really about recognizing. In this case, it's about recognizing those signals and making conscious decisions on how you want to respond. The more you do that, the more that you're going to lay down those thought patterns.
Thankfully, to another word that's become a little more common, which is neuro plasticity, the ability to kind of re not kind of the ability to rewire your brain, so when you get that signal, there is a more automatic response that is something that you would actually like to have, and not something that you're going to later go, what was I thinking? And you know why? Because you were thinking and because you laid down that track in your brain that this is how I want to respond when those things happen. And yes, you have to have a will, to have a way, or in this case, a pathway. You have to have that decision to begin with, that I want to be better that I want to act according to my values, needs and wants. I want to be more confident, and I want to show up in the world in a way that makes me feel proud and good. And so in this 10th year of ACI, as I turned 60 this year as well. I had the privilege to now kind of be the data. The data says that at 60, we all reach our confident peak. And I do agree. I agree, not just because I've seen the data over and over again, but because here I am, and the material stuff and even the way that I look or I sound, I am so not concerned about what really is. My focus is, am I making a positive mark? Am I making some good change in the world? Am I leaving it better than when I showed up and so, as a parent, as an educator, as a wife, as a friend, as a daughter, and yes, as a podcaster. I'm hoping that your world is happier and more confident because I'm in it. It certainly is for me, because you're in mine. Thanks for listening. Here's to 10 more years!
Before we totally wrap up. I want to let you know that full transcripts and show notes for this and other real confidence episodes can be found on www.AmericanConfidenceInstitute.com/podcast. I also want to remind you once again that the best way to get confidence is to give it to others, and you can do it just by liking and sharing this episode on your preferred podcast and social media channels. You can even give me some confidence by noting topics you'd like me to consider for the future. So for now, this is Alyssa Dver. Thank you for helping to bring more confidence to the world.
Master editing done by Ben Weinstein with original music performed and composed by Jeff Mitchell. Real Confidence is a production of American Confidence Institute. All rights reserved.
