EP 119: Real Confidence- 10 Years of Building Real Confidence and I Know These Things Are True

The American Confidence Institute (ACI) is 10 years old. Ten. Years. And honestly, I had to sit with that for a second—like, wait, what?

The last decade has been a sports bra-required ride. Confidence has been tested for me, for you, for all of us. Back in 2015, when I talked about the amygdala, people looked at me like I was speaking Greek (which technically it is—it means almond, the shape of that brain part). Or maybe they thought I was casting a spell from Harry Potter. Now, brain science is practically pop culture.

And can we agree that “fake it till you make it,” counting to five, or power posing doesn’t actually work? You can’t breathe your way past fear or plaster on a smile and call it confidence. 

Those tricks help calm your amygdala so you can think instead of react, but real confidence takes more. It takes doing the inner work. It takes deciding how you want to respond when your brain yells, “This is uncomfortable.”

Over the years, we’ve cycled through emotional regulation and emotional intelligence—both good, both useful—but the core lesson remains: your brain freaks out when it feels unsafe. Turning those warnings into signals helps you make better, more rational, confident choices. You can’t control others’ reactions—their experiences and emotions belong to them—but understanding and managing your own brain gives you an edge.

Confidence, really, is deciding again and again how you want to show up. The more you practice that awareness—recognizing your thoughts, feelings, and signals—the more you rewire your brain. That’s neuroplasticity in action: building the habits that make confidence your default. You start creating automatic responses you’ll be proud of later, not ones that make you think, “Crap, that was not my finest moment.”

So here we are. ACI at 10, me at 60. The data says confidence peaks around now, and I can confirm—it checks out. 

It’s not about how you look or sound. It’s about being who you truly want to be. It’s about making your mark with the colors and fonts you like no matter what others think. It’s about making positive, productive impact. Are you leaving things better than you found them? 

As a parent, educator, wife, friend, daughter—and yes, as a podcaster—I hope your world feels a little happier and a little more confident because I’m in it. It certainly does for me, because you’re in mine.

For this anniversary episode, we’re diving into where we’ve been, what’s changed, and what’s finally starting to click.