EP 116: Real Confidence- Three Sneaky Confidence Killers

I turned 60 this year, and honestly, it really is like a confidence switch flipped. Surprise?

Not really.

All the data from our research at American Confidence Institute has always shown that when we’ve clocked 60 years on the planet, we finally reach our confident best.

Not because age magically makes you perfect, but because you find yourself laughing at the ridiculous stuff that used to knock you down. I feel calmer. Wiser. Not all-knowing by any means, but I can see the games my own mind plays with me and spot them before they suck me in.

The three that chip away at our confidence the most?

Comparison. Impatience. Avoidance.

I’ve tripped over them more times than I can count and yeah, they’ve left some scars. But when I’m able to recognize them at play? That’s when I change the games my mind is playing.

Comparison is probably the worst. I still catch myself scrolling through alumni updates or social feeds and thinking, “Why aren’t I doing more?” But then I remind myself that at least half of those posts are highlight reels. Few if any post about the burnout, the mistakes, the doubts.

Patience is the next one. I’ve wanted things fast my whole life. Faster answers, faster progress, faster results. But life doesn’t hand you clarity overnight. You have to practice, stumble, and celebrate the tiniest wins. Even something as silly as picking a new outfit or finishing a podcast episode counts. Those little wins stack, and that’s how you grow confidence without noticing it.

Then there’s avoidance. So much easier to do the “safe” tasks, ignore the scary ones, and hope they’ll vanish. But avoiding life’s uncomfortable moments—hard conversations, big decisions, even self-reflection—shrinks your confidence. Face them in bite-sized pieces, and suddenly, you realize you’re capable of more than you ever thought.

In this episode, I dig into these traps and, more importantly, explore how to sidestep them. You’ll hear the kind of honest, real talk that makes you stop overthinking, start acting, and finally feel secure in who you are. Because confidence isn’t something you find. Confidence is something you create, choice by choice.