EP 96
Welcome fellow confidence crusaders, neuro nerds and success equalizers. This is your podcast, Real Confidence. I'm your host, Alyssa Dver, and I'll be sharing a bit of basic brain science, some surprising social secrets and a touch of tough love. Why? Because I believe confidence is everyone's fundamental right and choice. So let's get to it.
Alyssa Dver:
All right, my friends, you know, sometimes I grab a guest applicant because I just think and have this gut feeling, as I always tell you, listen to your guts, that this is going to be fun, interesting and valuable. And so today I'm bringing you Brady Foulk, who is a dog training expert. You're like, what? But here's what Brady said in his bio. He's a dedicated dog trainer with a passion for empowering puppies, dogs and their owners to agree, achieve greater success and harmony at home and around town. So I just know Brady, we're gonna have a fun talk, and I'm so glad you joined us today.
Brady Foulk:
Yeah, I appreciate you having me here. I want your audience to know before we begin, we're going to be talking about dogs. So if you want your dog to listen a little bit better, I'm going to share some tips and tricks that'll help you quickly. But if you don't have a dog and you're here for your normal confidence boost your neuroscience nerdy stuff, right? I'm also here for you, and I'm excited to dive into this for the next 10-15, minutes or so, and keep it nice and tight.
Alyssa Dver:
Well, I appreciate it, Brady, and it's, it's hilarious that we, you know, the dog thing is neuro, and I did go to a conference on neuro dog stuff, so we'll, we'll geek out a little bit about that later. Yeah, but needless to say, let's, let's roll back a little bit, because, okay, you and I chatted, and obviously, when I grabbed your application, come on the show. You know, there's this element of when the owner is confident or not, how it affects the training of the dog, and just the dog's reaction. So you know, if somebody is not confident, let's do the easier part. If they're not confident, and they're and I've been in dog training class, I've seen people like this, where they're like, come, come, right? Like they're very timid about doing things with their dog. How does that affect the relationship? How does that affect the dog?
Brady Foulk:
Yeah, that's a great question. Dogs are always feeding off this energy and confidence. Could even be described more as a smell to dogs, because when you're nervous, you're sweating, and it releases the type of smell. When you're excited, you're excited, you're sweating, when you're happy, you're sweating. It's all different. Smells different to dogs. And they even did tests. I won't dive into it, but dogs could tell when someone watched a scary movie or when someone watched a happy movie. So if you're over here stressing out a little bit, saying to yourself, I don't know what to do. I'm going to mess this up. I'm going to mess up my dog. Your dog is going to like you're going to start sweating because you're getting nervous. Your dog's going to smell that. Smell that and be like, Oh, they're scared. I should be scared right now. And then they're going to switch to their fight or flight mode, right? And so now you're both are in fight, fight or freeze.
Alyssa Dver:
You know, I knew this was going to be cool. I love this. My last book was, confidence is a choice. But I guess my next book I have to write with you called Confidence is a Smell. So I never wanted that like that, that is brilliant. So, we're giving off the signals to the dogs. Now, you know, you also do a lot of work with parents and all kinds of different audiences, not just dog owners. And confidence is transmutable, right? We do give it off in visual cues, obviously in aroma cues now, too. What you're saying, the dogs actually can interpret that, and so Subsequently, it triggers them to imitate that. Would that be a fair paraphrase?
Brady Foulk:
They will mirror to the best of their ability, right? And sometimes it's not. Sometimes I can be very confident and a dog could still be scared, right? And so it's not always like that, but I believe confidence is a skill, and there's three ways to train a skill. You can condition it, you can shape it, or you can capture it, right? And that's I follow the same things for dog training with any skill that I do.
Alyssa Dver:
Yeah, no, I appreciate that. Okay, so first and foremost, if we're confident, we have a better chance of giving that to the dog, of course. Um, when you're training a dog, and I know we're going to talk about specific training things, but when you're training a dog, especially if it's been your first, if it's your first time, what does confidence sound like look like to, you know, to convey that, like people are saying to yourself, I don't, I don't understand what we're talking about this point, what does that look like, in terms of somebody who's trying to train a dog this do they? Are they stern? Are they loud? Are they, how does that transmit?
Brady Foulk:
Yeah, that's a great question. I believe there's three ways to lead. You can use intimidation, you could use bribes, and you can use inspiration or games, right? So I follow the the latter games and inspiration so and when I'm talking to my dog, I'm going to be just a neutral voice. I don't really raise my voice too much if they're getting into something that's going to get them into a lot of trouble. I may raise my voice loud, but I'm mindful of the emotion behind it. Is it like an anger, or is it just like allowed attention, right? So that's important. And talking about getting skills for your confidence, for your dogs, it comes through repetition. I think repetition is a mother of all skills. And you have to condition these things. And your dog has to become conscious of what you want them to do first, and then you need to give them clarity. And then, through clarity, they get confidence. And after, once you are confident, then you can start adding challenges in, like distractions or distance or duration. And once you that's the fourth step. And then the fifth step is you have a capability now. And this capability, if you've gone through these steps of you have consciousness, you just start showing your dog kind of what you want them to do. You give them clarity that there's rules of when they're supposed to do it, when they're not supposed to do it, and then that's how they build confidence.
Alyssa Dver:
Wow. I mean, again, my gut was right. This is really fascinating. How do you know if your dog's confident? Is there something that they do?
Brady Foulk:
Yeah, you can check out the body language a lot of the times, right? If you were to imagine a timid dog or a shy dog, what, what would you think of, right? Or even a timid or not confident person, like, if I said, I'll give you a million dollars.
Alyssa Dver:
Well, you know, it's funny, because I got a new puppy a couple months ago, so that was also another reason to talk to you. But you know, he's very easy with new people. He walks up. His tail is wagging. He just seems like he's like, I am welcome Now, granted, I think a lot of dogs do that, but he's not hysterical. He's just happy to see you. He's not jumping, he's not barking, he's just, he's happy. And I don't know, maybe for me, that's a confidence. I would say, you know, the dog, obviously, they're not cowering, they're not growling, they're not doing those kinds of things that are defensive. They're welcoming. I don't know is, did I get them those things?
Brady Foulk:
Uh huh, yeah, those things would be the timid one or the shy or lacking confidence. If they're, like, growling, or they're flighty, they're trying to run away. Or sometimes dogs will get really sticky and they'll move really slow, and they're just like, they don't have confidence, right? And so all that means is, I think about it kindergarten through PhD, and maybe it means we gave them, like, a seventh or eighth grade problem, but they're really only in fourth grade, and we need to back down that problem give them some more math, rather than the pre calc we were given up. And that will give them more confidence, because they're like, oh, I've done this before. I can do this, right? And they start doing it, and then the next day, you know, it's like an apple a day. You keep stacking on these days. And after doing it for 30 days, the dogs like I know this game, and one thing I'll do with them too is I'll give them pump fakes. Once I know they understand the word, like crate training, right? Like when I open the door, the dog has to stay there, I'll say, ready, steady, bananas, and I'll say a word that's not their word to see if they're listening, and if they break, I know that they don't have clarity. They just think a sound means they're a release, or are they listening to what words I'm actually saying. So that's how you start testing confidence too.
Alyssa Dver:
You know it, I love it. I love it. I love it. And when as you were talking, so with this new puppy, his name is Porter,he's in the other room. He, my husband bought the game, like the games that you put on the floor, if you you put the food underneath, and they have to do right? And it's been fascinating watching him figure them out. And there's days where you know the new game, he'll be like, I'm not in the mood. Like, he just doesn't. He gets frustrated, he walks away. But once he masters it, like you said, like he you put it down, he knows exactly what to do. So, like, you know, is there? Is there a level where you can really read, if the dog is feeling frustrated and really not into what you're trying to convey to them? Or, you know, like, again, is there to tell? I mean, they can smell our confidence. How do we smell theirs?
Brady Foulk:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you can definitely tell. You'll tell, because sometimes they'll shut down and they won't work with you anymore, and they'll just walk away and start smelling stuff. It means like they're lacking confidence. Some people, like my dog, is distracted. It's like you've given them too hard of a problem, and yet, there's still some times I have those games too, like the spinner one, or the ones we have to flip open the lids right? And there's moments to work through frustration, and those games are great to show your dog like I get it. There's challenges in life, and there's different levels of these games. There's easy, medium, hard, um. Yeah, and yet, if you continue working like there's a payoff at the end. And so we want to make sure that we're building that skill in our dog through different enrichment games. And you can do this, and you can wrap up a towel and do stuff, right? And I'm teaching my littlest puppy how to ride a skateboard. She's eight months old, and I'm writing a skateboard, right? And it was hard for her at first, right? It was challenging, but I started off with just a blanket. I taught her how to stand on a blanket, and then I got a flat skateboard with no wheels, and she was just standing on that. And then I put that on top with something so it didn't move at all, and so, but it was still elevated. And I took her through all these different steps. So now she's riding a normal skateboard, and we can go down hills. Now, that's cool, but we went through a sequence, right?
Alyssa DVer:
Yeah, well, I mean, and that's, that's what you would do. I mean, if we were smart, we would do that with humans too, right? Like, don't just throw them on a skateboard, give them a progression to get there. It's very so I kind of tempted you before, and possibly some of the audience, I did go to a brain science, you know, like the future brain science, the people who are really doing the out there research not too long ago, and they were talking about some of the brain waves that people are studying that are above all the ones that have been known so far, you know, above the alphas and betas and everything that allow humans to make An instant detection, basically, if there's somebody that you connect with, like, in an emotional way. And yeah, they proved it. They've shown it, and it's amazing. And then at the end of the conference, there was another woman who got up and one of the scientists, and she says, I've been studying this between dogs and people, and so I was, you know, a big duh. I think in some ways, where a dog can detect if they connect with you. I mean, I think they knew it intuitively, but I find it fascinating that dogs know when somebody is not confident around them. My mother in law being the classic case, terrified and all the dog wants to do is make her like him. And I'm just wondering, you have a comment on that? Like is that? Do you think, first of all that they know it and it just, and second is like, why do they do that?
Brady Foulk:
Yeah, it's, it's interesting, right? So I work with abused farm animals, pigs and turkeys and cows and chickens, right? All these different animals. And I worked with this one pig, Cashew for a year. She wanted nothing to do with me, right? She hated me. She hated other pigs, she hated people, right? She was severely abused, right? So I started off training. I would just wave, and then I toss some popcorn to her. She loves popcorn. And then I would wave, and then I toss some popcorn, and I'd walk away, and I give her some space, and then I just allowed her to build trust with me. She loves me now. I've taught her how to paint. She's raised over $10,000 for this nonprofit through selling her painting. She's so good at it now it's her favorite thing to do, like you pull out the paint brushes and her tails just starts going and going and going, right? So I believe that there's some people out there that they just go into life. They don't want new friends, right? And me, personally, when I meet someone, I'm already your friend, there's no question to me of like, are they gonna like am I going to like them like? You may have a question, are you going to like me? But I already know I like you, right? It just saves so much time. And some dogs are like that. Now it's great when those dogs are like that, because they can break a lot of stories in people's heads, right? Like, if they're like, oh, dogs are mean. And then you meet a very friendly dog, like, oh, wow. This is the coolest dog ever, right? But dogs also pick up on if this person scared that that study I was telling you the dogs who smelled the scared smell from the movie, some of them wouldn't go back into the room because they're like, that person is like way too scary. I hate that, right? Some dogs stayed. But it kind of just depends on the dog too. And I find it very interesting that there's this intuitive connection between dogs and people that kind of just like, it's fate, almost serendipitous.
Alyssa Dver:
Well, again, you know, they're saying it's actually a brainwave. So I think you know more, more research to come, and I'm excited about it, but it is kind of humorous, I will admit, to watch, you know, my dogs, let alone any dogs, try and befriend somebody who's terrified of them. And we say they're trying to, you know, they're trying to be good samaritans, but it's not always easy with people. All right, so here's what we're gonna take up a really quick break, because I can't wait to get back on with you, and I want you to kind of give some best tips in, you know, for people who are not feeling so confident about training their dogs and building relationships, something that you can offer to them, that they can do right away and get started. And then we'll, of course, give contact information. So hang in there, my friends. We're going to be right back with Brady.
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Alyssa Dver:
I love talking dogs. Dogs, coffee, you name it. Dogs, great. I love it. Love it. Love it, love it. Brady, folks, thank you for being here today. Let's talk about people who are out there going, maybe they have a dog, or they're thinking of getting a dog, and they're like, not sure I can train it, not sure I can build that relationship. Give them some dog love tips, please?
Brady Foulk:
Yeah. I'll take you guys through, like my first game I play with every person, and we address a big problem for some people, when people knock on the door, what does the dogs do? Do they everyone runs to the door like, kind of what happens? And all that is, is a conditioned response, right? That's been operantly conditioned to there's pleasurable things coming there. And so the first thing that we do is we start training. How do you overcome that? Right? People are like, what do I do? And we gotta train an incompatible behavior. And that's where my brain's always going. Instead of saying, Stop jumping, stop barking, it's like, what's incompatible with barking or running to the door, running to your bed and laying down, right? You can't do this two things at the same time. It's like being fearful and grateful at the same time, same kind of idea. So what I do with the dog is first, and I teach the owner just the importance of sequence. If you're baking a cake and you have all the ingredients and you just put everything in a bowl, does it look like a cake at the end? Usually not, usually not right? There's, there's a recipe to follow. So in dog training, it's called the ABCs. All it is is antecedent, which is a fancy word for trigger, and then behavior and consequence, meaning does something good or bad follow it? Does the dog want to repeat the behavior? And so I'll have the owner put their hand in the air and wave it, and then say search, and then reach in the bowl and then toss a treat, and then the dog will eat it, and then they wave their hand and say, search, and then they're reaching the bowl and toss the treat. So we're training the dog to value for us, not value for the food. It's not a bride. It's like, look at us. You looked at us. Great. Now I'm going to reward you by pulling out the food and tossing on the ground for you to search, right? Super duper easy game. Next thing I do is like, now that you've understand that, I take two beds and I put them on either sides of the room, and I'll knock on the wall, and then I'll run over to a bed and I'll say search, and I'll drop a treat on the bed, and then I'll knock on the wall, and I'll run over to the other bed and I'll say search, and I'll drop the treat on the reason why this works is because dogs are prey animals. They like to chase things naturally, so I'm the prey. We're giving them a target to target, and they're understanding this search word now to be just trained that, and they're getting rewarded for it. And we're associating subconsciously, when someone they hear a knock, they go run to their bed instead of the front door. So that is how you start conditioning.
And I mentioned you can condition, you can shape, and you can capture behavior. So now the shaping comes in. And shaping is this idea that humans are doing anything, either to gain pleasure or to avoid pain, right? That's why you I believe you do anything in life, and dogs are operating on the same premise. So then you have a friend come over and you warn them what you're going to do. You have them knock on the door, and then you open the door right if you've done enough conditioning, and your dog has clarity, they should run to their bed, but if they don't, they run to the door. Then you just shut the door on your friend, and the friend goes back outside. Now the dog doesn't get the good thing anymore, so now it's painful to the dog. They're like, oh, every time I run to the door, the person's come, and now the door shuts and the person leaves, and then you knock on the login and the dog runs to their bed, and then the door opens. Oh, what? Now the person's here when the door opens, and then the dog breaks and they run to the door, and then the person steps back outside, and you shut the dog's like, why did they do that? Right? And then you're like, what were we supposed to be doing? And then the dog's like, oh, I know. And then they run back to their bed, and then you open the door, right? And so now you got this fun little tennis match going on where you don't gotta yell at the dog, you don't gotta intimidate, you don't gotta bribe the dogs making choices on their own based on what they find valuable. And you're communicating very clearly to them, and you've conditioned them before, so it's not like you're just throwing them out there and being like, figure it out. It's like, no, we've done 100 repetitions of running back and forth to the beds and knocking, and now we're going to add in this person and some more pain or pleasure, and associate all this together. So that's the first game I take people through on day one. And and it just like, kind of blows their mind, of like, why it's so easy?
Alyssa Dver:
Well, it's easy when you say it, I mean, it's, it's it to do it, right? You gotta just do it. And, you know, I love it. I was like, taking notes, and at the same time, I'm like, Brady, please tell me you have this written down somewhere, or some resources that I can dig into. What stuff on your website, stuff where,
Brady Foulk:
Yeah, on my Instagram page, I share a bunch of stuff on my Instagram, tips and tricks, and then if you DM me Dream Dog, I can send you a PDF list on games you can play with your dog.
Alyssa Dver:
Oh, I love it. And the Instagram, including this one, yeah, I love it Instagram. How do people find you on Insta?
Brady Foulk:
Yeah, so it's new direction dog training, but it's nd dog training.
Alyssa Dver:
Beautiful. You know, this is a topic obviously close to my heart, and you are such a breath of fresh air in the dog training space. So thank you for sharing some of that wisdom and ideas and resources and connection. I just love it, love it. Love it, love it. A neuro dog lover. I mean, I don't know if it fits in my bio, but I might not have to add that. Yeah, I'm a neuro encoding specialist, dog trainer, you know, love it. I love it.
Brady Foulk:
Thank you. So we're doing is creating anchors.
Alyssa Dver:
Yeah, all we're doing, and that's, that's a big deal, but needless to say, you're doing it well, and I appreciate you sharing some of that with the listeners today.
Brady Foulk:
Yeah, my pleasure. Thanks for having me.
Alyssa Dver:
Absolutely before we totally wrap up. I want to let you know that full transcripts and show notes for this and other real confidence episodes can be found on www.AmericanConfidenceInstitute.com/podcast. I also want to remind you once again that the best way to get confidence is to give it to others, and you can do it just by liking and sharing this episode on your preferred podcast and social media channels. You can even give me some confidence by noting topics you'd like me to consider for the future. So for now, this is Alyssa Dver, thank you for helping to bring more confidence to the world.
Master editing done by Ben Weinstein with original music performed and composed by Jeff Mitchell. Real Confidence is a production of American Confidence Institute. All rights reserved.
