EP 70: Real Confidence- Confidently Dealing with Someone Who Intimidates You

Relatives, friends, strangers, colleagues, bosses, store clerks, customer support reps. People who intimidate us come in all shapes and disguises. And it doesn’t matter if they’re in a position of authority or sitting across from us at the dinner table: interacting with them leaves us feeling less than, not good enough or otherwise awful. 

Is it better or worse when you know you’re going to see someone who intimidates you? Probably better.

When you anticipate seeing that person, at a holiday gathering or a meeting, you’re going to worry. If you remember the movie Monsters, Inc. it's like going to visit Roz in accounting, right? You know they're going to say something that makes you feel lousy, that's just not going to be welcoming or inclusive. You might be full of angst, but you know what’s coming.

It’s when you don’t anticipate the encounter and you’re unprepared that things get majorly uncomfortable. This “sneak attack” is very, very, very disarming, discomforting and horrendously stressful. In this situation, everything is lined up for us to respond directly from our fear-abiding lizard brain. 

Whether expected or unexpected, that’s what happens when we’re faced with someone who intimidates us. It’s part of being human in a world of other human beings. 

Short of avoiding those people altogether – tempting, but impossible by the way – there are measures you can take to regain your composure, manage your emotions and gain back whatever power your brain thinks you’ve lost. 

Listen in to this episode to learn what they are so the next time someone makes you quake in your boots or question yourself, you tame that trigger and respond as your best self.