Ep 53 The Confidence to Own Your Career with Special Guest Andy Storch
If you're smart and work hard, but just aren't where or who you want to be, welcome to your podcast, Real Confidence. I'm your host, Alyssa Dver, and I'll be sharing a bit of brain science. So surprising social secrets, and a touch of tough love. Why? Because I believe confidence is everyone's fundamental right and choice. So let's get to it.
Alyssa Dver:
You know, sometimes you get lucky sometimes you get doubly lucky. And this is the second time I'm having Mr. Andy Storch on the show.
Andy Storch:
What up?
Alyssa Dver:
What I want to talk about your book this time because this idea of owning your career, pandemic or not, this is so, so important. So we're gonna put your bio on the web on the show notes, of course, but give people an idea of your kind of your credential in this space, because you got mad mad crack cred?
Andy Storch:
Yeah, thank you. I've been working in corporate consulting for about a decade and certainly worked in other companies before that. And I had an opportunity to travel all over the world running workshops on things like leadership, teaching strategy, finance, working with a lot of executives in big companies. And I saw a lot of what made leaders and executives successful, what made companies successful. I also observed a lot of people really drifting through their careers operating in reaction mode, waiting for other people to tell them what to do, they might be moving up the corporate ladder, it doesn't mean they're not, quote unquote, successful. But I think those are a lot of the people that also wake up when they're 50 and ask, like, how did I get here, right? Like, what am I doing in my career, and this is not what I set out to do. I wonder if I could or should be doing something differently.
And a lot of people, you know, not really completely fulfilled, but not feeling like they can do anything about it, or the feeling like they can make any moves. And I wanted to create a guidebook to help people really take ownership of their career. And another aspect of that, by the way, was as I got deep into personal development, and took ownership of my own career, and invested 1000s of dollars into, you know, books and conferences and mastermind groups and coaching, and made my own moves to design a business and a career that I loved. And I realized that for me, entrepreneurship was what was really pulling me what I really wanted. And so I wanted to design a career where I could be an entrepreneur, run my own business, and I absolutely love it. But that's not for everybody, right?
I have a lot of conversations with clients who are like, No, I don't want to do that. And there's there I think there's a lot of messaging out there that says, Well, if you don't like your job, you need to quit the nine to five and start your own business. But as mentioned, like that's not for everybody, a lot of clients told me like, I have no, no desire to do that, like they want the team, the collaboration, you know, the security from the company. And what people really want at the end of the day is they want to feel fulfilled, they want to feel like they're contributing, they want to feel happy in their careers. And so I wanted to provide some guidance, and not only how to take ownership for your career and have a happier, more fulfilling career, but also to use the things that I've done over the last 15 years to help you prepare for the future. Because there's so much uncertainty out there, we saw a huge, huge event right in 2020, with COVID, that shut a lot of things down and changed a lot of people's careers. And a lot of people were not prepared for that, myself included. But I had already been doing a lot of things to help me prepare to be able to make a pivot, and was able to do that because of a lot of work that I did. And I wanted to be able to help other people prepare for the future, because jobs are changing all the time. And so that's what it's all about, in addition to, you know, building a resilient mindset and taking ownership of your life, so that you have the best life possible.
Alyssa Dver:
So the obvious question is no, we're here talking about confidence. Why does taking ownership of a career and or life? Why do people feel so not confident to do it's their life, their career? Why don't they feel confident to do it. It’s their life, their career. Why do they not feel confident to do it?
Andy Storch:
Well, I think one of the answers a lot of people are used to living life for other people, right? They grew up with their parents telling them what to do and where to go that chances are their parents told them what to major in, in college, and what job to choose, right. Or maybe a professor told them to do that. And then you know, for one thing to the next. A lot of people get into their careers accidentally. I did as well, by the way, and that's okay, that's normal. But once people get into a career, they then they if they if they even wake up and start thinking, I don't like this, I'd like to do something else. Then it's fear that holds people back, right. It's fear of failure. It's fear of judgment. It's fear of rejection. Those are like the three big fears that people deal with. And it's, well if I try something else, and it doesn't work out, then what am I going to do right or or I've already invested so much time in becoming a lawyer or an accountant or whatever job it is you're doing. I can't just throw that away. Which you know, when you're like 28, and you've been doing it for seven years, you feel like that's a long time. But really, in the grand scheme of things, you have plenty of time to do other things. But a lot of people don't think about that, right. And so it's the fear that holds them back. They don't feel like they can do something else. They don't know how, right and they don't know how to go about it. And I've been there throughout most of my 20s I was drifting. I felt frustrated with my career. I didn't know where to go. I felt like I wanted to do other things. But I didn't know how to get there what to do. And I was afraid to try stuff because I was afraid of failing and what would happen then?
Alyssa Dver
Yeah, yeah. So I mean, you know, we talk at the institute about the fear of failure, regret rejections, it's right on the money here. I find it fascinating, though, because we also talked about owning your brain, right? Having that moment that you go, Wait a minute, I'm in control of what I think and do, you know, not, not my brain? I'm in control of the brain. I'm the driver. And that kind of wigs people out because it's a control issue. Right? And when you say own something to take responsibility for it? Yep. Yeah, it is a little scary. You know, in talking with your, when I say clients, people that you've presented to and otherwise, like, do they push back to like I really want to own that that's not my responsibility, or do you feel like people are like, you were to take ownership? What's What do you see?
Andy Storch:
I think people are used to being a victim. I think people are used to being kind of told what to think and what to do. It's common in our society. And taking ownership means taking full responsibility, like you said, which means that no one else is responsible, right. One of the things I talk about in my book, I share the no complaining challenges to stop being a victim and stop complaining about other people, right? Because complaining feels good in the moment, it means oh, someone else is responsible for my unhappiness right now. It's not me, right? But when you stop, and you analyze it, and one of the things I learned from a leader I worked with many years ago, just going like a decade back, she introduced this concept to me that she had read about, which was this idea that you take respond full responsibility for every situation no matter what, and see what it does for you. And it's really eye opening, right? When you get cut off in traffic, and you want to just like get angry at that other person complain about that. And instead you turn it around yourself and go, oh, I wonder if I could have left earlier? If I kind of changed lanes? Or like, does this even really matter that much? And start really getting curious and asking yourself questions. And that's the other challenge or problem is owning your career starts with self awareness and self reflection. And most people in the corporate world don't take time for that.
And I think when I introduced that concept, and a lot of companies, it's so new and uncomfortable to tell people, you know, forget email for a few minutes and go sit down with a cup of coffee or tea and a journal for like 30 minutes with no distractions. And just think and write about yourself. And what do you like and not like about your life? What are your strengths and weaknesses? What are your values? What do you really care about? What do you like and don't like about your job? And like, do you really want to be doing that? Or do you want to do something differently? And if you're honest with yourself, could you do something differently? And how would you go about doing that, and then you can start making a plan. But most people never take the time to do that. They just don't. And it's it's sad. And so like, I'm on this mission, to encourage people to do something as simple as sit down with a journal, something you and I have probably done hundreds of times, and just reflect and think about yourself in your life.
Alyssa Dver:
Yeah, for sure. For sure. I can't remember which one of my books, so needless to say, I know it's not in the latest one. But I do remember writing that the saddest day in everybody's life is the day you realize your parents are flawed, right, that they're human. I think the second day might be if you have a job and you realize your boss is also human, right? Like your, your manager to tell you what to do, what direction to go in, or somebody in management, or HR or whoever it is. And there is that rude awakening, and yes, most people will complain, right? oh, my manager sucks. And I'm gonna leave because my manager sucks, which is common. Yeah. But what you've just said is grow up people like this is your life, not their life. They're human.
Andy Storch:
And your manager might suck, by the way, but take some responsibility for the situation. Are there things that you can change? And if it's unchangeable, and they and you just can't take that anymore, then go get a different job, right? Like we live in a time. And everybody's situation is different. Everybody's on their own journey. Right? But it's never been easier to find another job to find another opportunity than it is right now in 2022 to just get on to LinkedIn, and start searching, right?
Alyssa Dver:
Yeah, but stop, stop assuming that everybody's there. You know, it's gonna pamper your life because you're worried about their own life. You know, I mean, I have older kids than you do, right, admittedly. And sometimes it's really hard not to tell them what to do, right? Yeah. I don't it's not even a dependency issue. It's that I want them to have the ability to keep up and make decisions and competent. My husband's a teacher like even he sometimes panders to them. And I think that that's part of our society. We have to stop doing that to each other a lot. Yeah, please be aware when it's being done to us to right?
Andy Storch:
And by the way old or young, right? My kids are young, I take them to the playground, I observed parents directing their kids, don't do this, do that, be careful. And I just I cringe I don't think it's not that I'm some expert parent. But I don't think it's going to serve them well later, because this is how it starts, right? We're being told what to do all the time. And that's where a lot of people start and end up living a life for other people, which is we talked about how we got here. And, you know, it often holds people back. And then they wake up later, you mentioned that. And one of the things I wanted to go back to I'm sure you're aware of this, and I mentioned this in my book, there's a famous book written by a woman in Australia called the Top Five Regrets of the Dying. And, you know, she interviewed several people on their deathbeds, right, and the number one most common regret was, I did not live a life true to myself, I wish I would have lived a life to to myself. And like, that's the impetus of all of this right here that brings it all together, like people are living lives for other people, they're living out of fear, right there. I'd like to try this one thing when I'm afraid that someone might judge me or reject me or make fun of me. So I'm not going to do it. And then you get to the end of your life. And I haven't been there yet. But it's one of the things that strongly drives me is I think about getting to the end of my life, I think about my older self, my 67 year old, 80 year old older self asking that question, what do I wish I would have done? And I and my older self always tells me to take the chance and go for it almost all the time, right? Because they want me to like, you know, give it my best shot, live live life to the fullest. And my mission is to live life to the fullest and inspire other people to do the same.
Alyssa Dver:
Yeah, no, I love it. Love it. I again to travel a lot. And maybe it's the New Yorker, born and bred in New Yorker and me in New England, you know, we're not terribly shy with the way we think and feel. But you know, when people say to me, how do you deal with impostor syndrome? It's the same issue for me, it's like, knock it off, like, you know, take ownership of your life and take ownership in a way that says, Okay, I'm feeling a little wiggy. What, how am I gonna fix this right now? It's easy to say, knock it off. It's easy to say take ownership, right? So here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna take a little break, just give a little sponsor love. And we'll be right back.
This podcast was sponsored by the American Confidence Institute, ACI trains smart, hardworking people how to use basic brain science to more effectively coach themselves and others. ACI is endorsed by top universities, the Strategic HR Management Association and International Coaching Federation, learn more about ACI as uniquely empowering keynotes, workshops, e classes, and coaching certification at www.AmericanConfidenceInstitute.com.
Alyssa Dver:
We're back with Andy Storch, Own Your Career Own Your Life author of amongst other wonderful accomplishments. Andy, we got to get into how to do this. Now we've talked about why and why happens and all that good stuff. But let's get to nuts and bolts. Somebody is in a career, let's focus on that for now. They're in a career and they're like, I don't love it. Not sure I want to continue. I don't know what to do. But they're not. They've never really picked themselves up by the bootstraps, so to speak. So how do they do that?
Andy Storch:
Well, we talked about the first step, I think the foundation is self awareness, taking that time. For self reflection, like I mentioned, the journal, the cup of tea, half an hour, hour in the morning, quiet space, really think about it. And then once you build more awareness around who you are, and where you are, start to think about where you want to get to what do you like and not like about your situation? And what would you like to see changed, a lot of people are unhappy, or say they're unhappy with their job or their career, and they want to change. But it could just be some small tweaks, right, it could be something about your manager or your commute or your workspace, where, you know, maybe you could do something slightly different with your job, but stay with the same company, there's often a lot more options than we think are available. And it's about really building that awareness and then investigating all options. And then the next step is to set a clear vision for where you want to go in your career essentially chart that path, right.
You know, a pilot wouldn't get into a cockpit of a plane and start the plane up without knowing exactly where they want to go. Same with you when you get behind the wheel of your car. And yet most of us have no idea where we're going in our careers. And that doesn't mean that things are gonna work out perfectly. You set this vision and that's exactly where you're going to end up, right? Like you and I've been around for a while we've seen many changes, right? Stuff happens, challenges come up. But what I found is the more clarity you have on that vision, the easier it is to make the big decisions when they come your way Your boss offers you a promotion, a recruiter calls you right you lose your job, and you need to try to figure out what's the next thing is when you have the vision, you know, I want to be VP of Finance one day or I want to move into HR or I want to start my own business, then that guides all the decisions that you make along the way, then you want to break that down and make a plan because what I have learned throughout my life of failing many times is that when you when you have a goal but you don't have a plan, it's really just a wish so a goal without a plan is really just a wish you've got to have a clear plan to in place right for How you gonna get there, you're gonna break that down into smaller goals. I'm a big believer in using habits to achieve those goals, you want to make sure that you're getting help. Once you have that plan right in place, hire a coach, find a mentor, talk to your boss, talk to your colleagues.
I'm amazed by how many people are in a situation where they kind of like their job, they're looking to make some changes, they want to be able to move up, but they don't know what to do. And they're afraid to talk to their manager, and I've been there, I totally understand. But until you have that conversation with your manager, who is probably the most influential person in your work life, right, then probably nothing's going to happen. And what I've learned too, is that managers want to support you, but until they hear from you, they don't know what you want, right? So you've got to be able to lay out that plan and go to your manager and say, hey, things are going well. I'm thinking about my next step. Can we talk about my career? I'd like to be, you know, Director of Finance one day, can you help me get there? And then hopefully, they'll go, oh, yeah, that's great. Or they might say, No, I'm not going to help you, which happened to me in my career, and then you know that it's time to go somewhere else, because you don't have a supportive manager, right.
Once you have all those things in place, start working the plan. The next thing, which is the middle section of my book, is to start doing things to help you prepare for the future, because you never know what might come. So those three things are number one, investing, continuous learning, because the days of getting a college degree and a master's degree and working in that field for 40 years without learning anything new, those are long gone, right? The pace of change is faster than it's ever been before. And yet it's slower today than it's ever going to be. So we've got to keep learning about the new trends and things that are going on. Number two, invest in building a powerful network. So build your network, build relationships, keep making connections, right? Because you never know who's going to bring that next opportunity to you like you and I have been talking about and are proof of that. And then number three is build your personal brand, which is nothing more than your reputation, simply what people think and say about you when you're not around. And everybody has a brand and a reputation whether you like it or not. So you might as well be intentional. And then finally, do work on your mindset. Develop a growth mindset and what I call an Ownership mindset, avoid being a victim take responsibility, and be willing to try new things and pivot because stuffs gonna come up. And we've got to be able to respond.
Alyssa Dver:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, you know, very concrete kind of business stuff we've been talking about here. But you know, there's something to be said about putting it in the universe, whether you're even a law of attraction or otherwise, I don't care. When you make that decision and that conscious decision and you say, Andy, I am going to be the spokesperson for one of the largest cosmetic companies guess what happens? Contract shows up on your desk, right? So yeah, I think, you know, we, we owe it to ourselves, literally, to say, I want to go there, wherever there is for that person. But you have to, like you said, know where you want to go, why you want to go there, lay the groundwork, and then to start talking about to talk about in your head outside your head and listen, your manager and everybody and pretty amazingly, if nothing else, you start to figure out what are the paths one of the doors I need to get to get to go there. And that's magical.
Andy Storch:
Paulo Coelho, the alchemist, when you put your goals and dreams out into the universe, the whole universe conspires to support you. And I have seen that happen. For me. I'm a big fan of when you have that goal, writing it down, telling a friend, you know, finding a mentor or a coach who can help you and then repeating it to yourself every day. So I use daily affirmations. And I repeat my goals almost every single morning, and reminds me what I'm working on. And I keep moving forward.
Alyssa Dver:
Yeah. And you got to have all those steps in order to get there that you said, so thank you so much for sharing. So last bit here, people are definitely going to want to reach out to you what's the best way to do it.
Andy Storch:
So the book is called own your career on your life. It's available on Amazon, we also have a lot of free resources available for people who want to get more including the five steps to owning your career, the top five most common career mistakes, and my daily affirmations are in there for people to download as well. All of that is that own your career, ownyourlife.com/bonus. Everything is there. The book is on Amazon and I'm active on all the socials if anybody wants to connect and reach out.
Alyssa Dver:
Yeah, and you know, we got a really big HR community, you have the most incredible HR committee. So if there's anybody out there who is in human resources, check out Andy's stuff because he is golden and knows everybody in the biz. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you for being here again, and I'm just so grateful for everything you do. So thank you so much.
Andy Storch:
Thank you, Alyssa. I'm grateful for you.
Alyssa Dver
So before we completely wrap up, I want to let you know that full transcripts and show notes for this and other episodes can be found on the website, www.AmericanConfidenceInstitute.com/podcast. I also want to remind you once again, that the best way to get confidence for yourself is to give it to others and you can do it so easily just by liking and sharing this episode on your favorite social media channels. You can even give me some confidence fuel by sending in any comments about the topics I've covered, or ones you'd like me to consider for the future. So for now, this is Alyssa Dver, thank you for helping to bring more confidence to the world.
This podcast was produced by Mindful Media. All rights reserved by Alyssa Dver and the American Confidence Institute. Music written and performed by Jeff Weinstein.
