Ep 48 The Link Between Clarity and Confidence
If you're smart and work hard, but just aren't where or who you want to be welcome to your podcast, real confidence. I'm your host, Alyssa Dver, and I'll be sharing a bit of brain science, some surprising social secrets, and a touch of tough love. Why? Because I believe confidence is everyone's fundamental right and choice. So, let's get to it.
Alyssa Dver:
I always say you're in for a treat my podcast listeners, I am not joking today, either, because I am so excited. If nobody else is listening, this podcast is for me. It's a topic that is so close to my heart. And I'm so excited to learn a little bit more about the science and really underneath it. I have with us today, an expert on clarity. And it's going to be tied to confidence but I know Ann is going to tell us a lot more about this. Very exciting, interesting. It's just another one of those topics that I can't believe nobody else has been making as much noise. So Ann Latham, thank you for joining us.
Ann Latham:
Thank you. I'm really looking forward to this.
Alyssa Dver:
How do you get into being a clarity expert? Let's just start from there.
Ann Latham:
Alright, so while I was probably sort of naturally clear to start with, I was a software engineer, I spent a lot of time problem solving in the corporate world. And I went up the ladder, and I finally decided I wanted to start my own business. So I asked all of my colleagues, boss, former bosses, what is it that I do exceptionally well, that is most uncommon? And I'm so glad I asked this question, because they all came back with really thoughtful answers that I go through massive quantities of information, I cut to the chase, I find the kernel, I get everyone together on the same page. And I find that common ground so I can move things forward. And listening to that and reading all their comments. I named my company Uncommon Clarity, and I've been writing about it ever since.
Alyssa Dver:
I love it. And we're gonna post certainly links to your books, you have multiple books, The Power of Clarity being the latest. So define, for me clarity is clarity in the way you think or what you think, give us a better sense of what you mean, when you say clarity.
Ann Latham:
No, that's great. So to me, when you're clear, you know exactly what you're trying to accomplish. You know how with whom, and you have the focus to get there. And that includes both being very specific about what you're trying to accomplish. But also how you think and how you create that process clarity that gets you from Step A to step B and makes you super productive and super-efficient. And also, by the way, super confident,
Alyssa Dver:
Super confident. You just said something that has been in my brain since the moment we connected which as you say to become you makes you confident, I wonder what's the cart and the horse, you have to be confident to be clear, or are you clear as a result of being confident?
Ann Latham:
You are confident as a result of being clear, because if you know exactly what you want to accomplish, and you know exactly how you're going to get there, and you have the opportunity to focus, you're ready to go through walls. There's nothing to stop you. You're jazzed up, you're energized, and you know what you want to get done. So, it makes it easier. If you know people interfere to say, no, no, no, I have to do this. It's easier when people disagree with you to speak your mind. And it really helps you step up, I believe and do what needs to get done.
Alyssa Dver:
Yeah. So, it's an interesting perspective. I'm sure that there is a question mark in a lot of people's head. Well, if I'm not clear, how do I, can I get clear? Can I become clear? And what is the impetus to do that? So, when people I mean, you asked to speak and consult and coach I imagine all the time? Do they know that they're not being clear? Is this something that they go? I'm not clear. And so, I want to be clear, so I can be confident about being clear.
Ann Latham:
Okay, great question. So first of all, the first chapter of my book is called, we aren't as clear as we think we are. And it's costly. And it's filled with examples to try to convince people that they really aren't as clear as they think they are. And we add that and then then it goes on to explain that we don't even know what clarity is. We think of clarity as this little nebulous point in the sky that we're always just a little off a little unclear. A little confusing, a little frustrated, but we don't know when we're there. We have more shared vocabulary to talk about the temperature of soup, than the levels of clarity, because you can you know, it's boiling, it's scalding. It's hot, it's lukewarm. It's cold. It's, we share that vocabulary. But when we talk about clarity, well, it's a little unclear. It's a little confusing, which one of those is worse.
And so I talked about this clarity continuum that goes from dis clarity to uncommon clarity. And when you start thinking about that is a continuum, you realize, no, we're not just a little off, sometimes we're way off, we're way down on the disclarity end of the spectrum. So people are not as clear as they think they are. But I've been writing about how to create clarity for almost 20 years. And the whole reason I will wrote the power of clarity is really to cram all of that knowledge into that book to help people see that they're unclear, and to see what they can do about it. There's a lot of really specific tips and tricks in there to make you clear.
Alyssa Dver:
Well, okay, so people are not necessarily even aware that they're not clear. What's the impact of that you write a lot about this in your book about the costs, but the personal as well as the professional impact of not having clarity, what kinds of things do you see happening?
Ann Latham:
Right, yeah, I mean, there's the obvious, well, maybe it's not obvious. I mean, there's here, productivity is clearly a problem if you're not clear about what you're trying to accomplish and how you're going to get there. But the other side of this, and I tell a lot of stories in the book about people misunderstanding, or I would even say misunderstanding, being given vague orders, vague requests, and wasting a lot of time going down the wrong track and working on a project that wasn't what was intended at all. And the consequences of that are not just the waste of time, it's also the losing your respect of your boss, because you did the wrong things, losing the respect of your team, if you wasted their time. In in one case, the boss hired me to coach them to coach this new employee who was had poor judgment. Well she didn't have poor judgment, she was given ridiculously vague requests. So you know, there's the frustration, and there's the damage relationships, and there's the waste of time, and there's mistakes. So it's, it's all of the above in terms of what you lose.
But I can give you one specific example about that involves confidence. And this is where a woman sent me an email, she says, I read all your newsletters, I love your stuff. But how can I think more quickly on my feet? And so, I was really intrigued. So I talked to her, but you know, what's the situation when are you confident when aren't you and this is a nurse or some sort of medical professional, I can't remember working in a big hospital. And she gave me all these examples where she thinks quickly on her feet all the time. And her problem was when the bigwigs come down to her wing, and ask ridiculously vague questions, like, how's it going, and she wants to reply with something that's smart, and succinct and helpful. And she can't she's tongue tied, because she has no idea what they want, what they're looking for what they need. But what's sad here is that they issue an incredibly vague request. And instead of her recognizing that they are incredibly unclear, she feels inadequate, she takes it upon herself, that she can't think quickly on her feet, it hurts her self-confidence. Whereas the guy in the suit can get away with saying nonsense. She feels bad. This is all wrong.
Alyssa Dver:
Yeah, so of course, my confidence lens is very, very clear that when that kind of situation happens, it's like, it's not even a self-fulfilling prophecy. It's just, it's one of those moments that you go, I must be up the problem. But you just pointed out that in a lot of cases, maybe most cases, the lack of clarity isn't even in your own head. It's because somebody else is unclear. Is that fair to say?
Ann Latham:
Thats right. And if you learn to recognize that, and this is part of the all the examples in my book of we're not as clear as we think we are, as we start seeing the lack of clarity around us, because we don't see it. We don't see we're surrounded with disclarity. But when you start seeing it, then you can call it out for what it is. And when you get a ridiculously vague question, like, how's it going down here? You can say, well, what in particular, would you like to know about and you can ask them to clarify, be more specific, because otherwise she could talk for hours about, well, this is working and this isn't and we could use better air conditioning and where she's supposed to go.
Alyssa Dver:
That's right. That's right. All right. So, another thing that you said that kind of poked at my confidence alarm a little bit when I say alarm in a good way because it was like I didn't put that tie together. Is we talk about at the institute the word enough a lot, right? Because unlike clarity, because you said you put it on a spectrum, there's no spectrum from confidence definitionally you either are or you're not. Right. It's very, very binary in engineering terms. In fact, of the spectrum when you said, you know, you can be sort of clear, somewhat clear, totally clear. Is there such a thing as enough clear knowing that you'll never be absolutely clear or, or is the goal to be absolutely clear?
Ann Latham:
The goal is not, that's a good question. But you can't be absolutely clear in everything. You know, I'm very clear and people will when they introduce me, they'll say, Yeah, this is Ann Latham. Her company is called Uncommon Clarity. And she really is uncommonly clear. But I'm not clear all the time. I am not perfect that way. But if you realize that, you know, it's funny, because people who if you think about that point, clarity, people think they're just a little bit off. But as soon as you say, uncommon, clarity is the other end of the spectrum. And this clarity is the bad end of the spectrum. No one puts themselves at uncommon clarity. Everyone realizes not another somewhere in the middle, but they're always a little clearer than their coworkers, just so you know. So anyway, no, you can't be perfectly clear, but what you need to be as clear in the moment, and able to create that clarity in the moment, so you can unleash next steps with your action. So what specifically needs to be done now, that will unleash more progress?
Alyssa Dver:
So is there a feeling or some way that you know that you're clear? Like how do you confirm that?
Ann Latham:
That's yeah, that's another good question. You can be really sure of your clarity about what you're doing. I know, for instance, what I was working on this morning, I knew what I needed to be done at the end of one hour, and you know what I needed to do after that, and there I was super confident of my clarity. When you're talking to another individual, or coordinating with another individual, then you can't be clear, you can't be certain I mean, that's where you have to, you have to be really careful to listen and understand. And it's good to doubt your clarity so that you can really hone in and be sure that the two of you are agreeing on what needs to be agreed on.
Alyssa Dver:
Yeah, so you know, and that's where the intersection is that word certainty, right? Confidence, definitionally neurologically, is a certainty about the truth of something. And I think the truth here, and you know, again, it goes back to maybe my previous question, I'm not sure I agree or disagree with you, which is the cart and the horse, right, if you're certain that you're clear, I'm clear that I understand what I need to do to record this podcast, for example, right? Fine. Am I absolutely clear what Ann wants me to ask her or the direction? No, but that doesn't make me less certain or confident that I can do it.
Ann Latham:
Right. So exactly. There's two different things.
Alyssa Dver:
Yes, they are different things. But they are connected in that certainty moment. Right. Have you know, do I know enough? Am I certain enough? And so, you know, again, it's a little heady, I leave in my head on a we're recording this Friday afternoon, I'm thinking to myself, boy, this is very, very deep. But you know, I think the clarity, people are constantly asking me, you know, if they become clearer, if they know what career direction or if they know a decision, that they're going to be confident, and I often say to them, they're different. Like you said, they're different. So, weigh in on that for me?
Ann Latham:
Well, for instance, I was working at finishing my next book this morning. So, I'm totally clear on, I need to go through and be sure all the chapter summaries are on point, am I certain that every chapter summaries really good? No, that's totally different, because that's much more subjective, much more arbitrary. But did I go through each one and check it off? Yes. If you're thinking in terms of your career, you can be really clear that these are my objectives, this is what's most important to me. I think you can be quite clear about that, quite confident in that. Can you be confident that any particular job is going to line up well with those? No, of course not. Because there's way too much out of your control. You know as soon as you start interacting with others, there's going to be interplay and uncertainty. But that doesn't mean you can't be confident in this is a good choice. Because it matches my objectives. Well, it's worth a try. And I might as well move on it because it could be awesome.
Alyssa Dver:
There you go. There you go. It's a perfect moment for us to take a sponsor break in a little love what enables us to do this beautiful podcast together. But I'm gonna put you in the hot seat as we come back, because now the question right, okay, great. I know that I don't have to be 100% clear all the time. But how do does one gain more clarity? So we're going to be right back after the sponsor break.
This podcast was sponsored by the American Confidence Institute. ACI trains smart, hardworking people how to use basic brain science to more effectively coach themselves and others. ACI is endorsed by top universities, the Strategic HR Management Association and International Coaching Federation. Learn more about ACI’s uniquely empowering keynotes, workshops, eclasses, and coaching certification at www.AmericanConfidenceInstitute.com.
Alyssa Dver:
All right, we're back with Ann Latham. She is the author of The Power of Clarity and leads this wonderful thought process of how can we get uncommon clarity ourselves? So, Ann magic question big one? How does one get more clarity?
Ann Latham:
Okay, that's a great question. In my book, The Power of Clarity is loaded with different types of advice and examples. But I'm glad I had a few minutes to think about which one to give you today. So, most people have too much to do. And they're always struggling with excessively long to do lists, they're overloaded, and they just have too much to do. So here's something that can help you out. There are only six, effective six, they'll actually there's only six options to deal with overload with you're too much to do. Five of them are effective, and one is ineffective. So, guess which one we choose?
Alyssa Dver:
Please don't say the ineffective one.
Ann Latham:
We do we do choose the ineffective one. So let me tell you what there's the five are and what's important here is that there are only five, there's only five things you can do that are effective. One is to abandon some things, you just say no, I'm not going to do it. Two is to postpone things, put them off till later. Three is to cut corners. And I don't mean that in a bad way. I mean, find things that don't need to be done as well, as you were originally planning, things don't have to be 100% perfect, find the 80%. Number four is to delegate or outsource, find someone else to do it. And number five is to find out a new method. A faster, better method that will let you get some of these things done faster. So, all five of those are reasonable options.
Unfortunately, the one we choose is not choosing one of the five. It's called wishful thinking by another name, that if we just work faster or harder, if we just keep shuffling our to do list, maybe write it on a different piece of paper or put it into a different electric system electronic system that suddenly will find the magic bullet and will be able to get everything done. But the reality is you can't get it all done. There are five effective choices you can make. Don't choose wishful thinking.
Alyssa Dver:
I love it! You pose that like don't use wishful thinking. Yeah, yeah, hope is not a strategy, right? Yeah. Oh, my goodness. This was chock full of really very, very provocative things, at least again, as I said, In the beginning of nobody else listened. It was awesomely interesting. So thank you for being here. Best way to find you. We're gonna post links and other resources in show notes. So if you're listening to this, please check it out there but and how can people hook up with you listen to me. I need some clarity, or some tequila at this point. How can people find you best and easily?
Ann Latham:
My name is Ann Latham, Latham. So, you can hook up with me or connect with me on LinkedIn. You can find me at Annlatham.com and you can find the Power of Clarity in any bookstore.
Alyssa Dver:
Beautiful. I love it. Thank you so much for sharing your clarity, your wisdom, and your time. Really, really appreciate it.
Ann Latham:
Thank you. That was a lot of fun.
Alyssa Dver:
So before we completely wrap up, I want to let you know that full transcripts and show notes for this and other episodes can be found on the website, www.Americanconfidenceinstitute.com/podcasts. I also want to remind you once again, that the best way to get confidence for yourself is to give it to others and you can do it so easily just by liking and sharing this episode on your favorite social media channels. You can even give me some confidence fuel by sending in any comments about the topics I've covered, or ones you'd like me to consider for the future. So, for now, this is Alyssa Dver, thank you for helping to bring more confidence to the world.
This podcast was produced by mindful media. All rights reserved by Alyssa Dver and the American Confidence Institute. Music written and performed by Jeff Weinstein.
