EP 14: The Confidence to Be Funny - with Special Guest Brooklyn Dicent
Alyssa Dver
If you're smart and work hard, adjust hardware or who you want to be welcome to your podcast, real confidence. I'm your host, Alyssa Dver, and I'll be sharing a bit of brain science some surprising social secrets, and a touch of tough love. Why? Because I believe confidence is everyone's fundamental right and choice. Let's get to it.
All right, anyone who's listening, you got to put a seatbelt on. And I'm being dead flippin serious, because you know what, I have somebody who came into my world actually as an ACI certification coach, and it sounds so serious, but you know what? The one thing that Brooklyn does is she makes me giggle, laugh, and feel like goosebumps every time I talk to her so she's gonna do for you right now- strap on. She is. I have to tell you, I'm so jealous of this. The Chief Happiness Officer of the universe like it says in her bio that she's a motivational speaker, comedian happiness at work expert. I'm going to talk to her let her explain what she does more precisely, but Brooklyn. Oh, are we guys lucky?
Brooklyn Dicent
Yes. Oh, listen, this is a phenomenal opportunity. Thank you for having me.
Alyssa Dver
Oh my god. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Alright, so let's just start at the beginning here, if you will, Chief Happiness Officer. I used to say that when people are like, what do you want to grow up? What do you want to be when you grow up? I'd like Chief Happiness Officer. They're like, yeah, sure. And here you are you doing it? What does it actually look like a day in the life? What kind of things you do?
Brooklyn Dicent
Great question. You know, when I was maybe about six or seven, we had a group with a bunch of dogs and puppies and whatever. And I would gather the puppies and dogs and my dolls and everything else. And when I say dolls, I mean like teddy bears and line them up in my room, get my brush and start talking to them. I was like, I already knew. I'm like, guys, listen, this is not good today, how are you gonna have a better attitude and end up looking like what? And so, I was already speaking, right from as a kid. And I remember, I think I've been coming in for a very long time. And I remember telling my mom one of my first jokes, and, and I'll talk about it later. But one of the key things I knew already, and like I want, I want to just work with people, I want to make people laugh in some way. And as I started, you know, to grew up, I actually early, I don't know, maybe my early 20s, or whatever, I thought I saw somebody had that title. And he then googled it. And then I googled it. And sure enough, I guess Google's has like a, like a Chief Happiness Officer and they are HR people. And you know how sometimes HR people can be, you know, humor impaired, but that's okay. The point is, I was like, let's look at what that means. And what does it mean to me. And so, as a as a, as I just took that title to myself, and I wanted to make people laugh and find healing through humor. And I thought, look, I'm the chief happiness officer. And my job is to bring happiness and joy. And literally my life path is I'm here to bring happiness and joy. And so, every time I do a talk, I then say, now you are all chief happiness officers of your life.
Alyssa Dver
Yeah, girl. I love that because my mantra is bring confidence to the world. And if I can give confidence somebody else can give it pass it on. Right? You are on that same, same mantra. So, let's go back to teddy bears and all. What was that moment? You're like, oh, I'm flipping funny. Like, you know, I got this. Did you realize that at a young age, or how did that happen?
Brooklyn Dicent
Yeah, I did. I did. Well, the interesting thing is that in our community, like who was your influence, when I first I didn't know that comedy was the thing I didn't know that there was a career in it or anything else. I just knew that I could find joy and happiness easily through observation. And I had a very phenomenal uncle who was very very funny this guy, but his humor was literally about anything and everything around him. And one day we were in a car driving and I was in backseat, and he goes, look, and we were driving like on a highway or something. And he says look at all those um, look at all those like lampposts. He goes, wouldn't you wish more on them, they go into much faster. And I'm like, What? You know what? What? And I'm like, that is hilarious. Actually. It's like it. Look how fast those would you want to be one of those lampposts versus in the car because look how fast they're going. And so, the weird things he would say, would make me laugh. And I thought, this is amazing. And then one day, I'm Latina. And so, one day I, my mom was kind of having a hard day or whatever, and I said, Mom, I've even noticed that Spanish announcers are talking Spanish, but they announced the English words so perfectly.
So now what I've done with those videos that show a case that was a bit poor, American Airlines. And I'm like, and she busted a laugh. So, she's like, where do you get these things? And so, breaking her sadness or her down moment into laughter, I'm like, wow, this is fun. And so, it just became a thing. And I would do little shows, not like official, but just little shows for my parents and my family. And I imitated people on TV. And I was just a little actor. I thought this is so much fun, because it brought me joy. And so, as an adult, when I look back on my, you know, where was it coming from? And it was just the need to bring, you know, fun and creativity out of chaos, right? Because we all have most all of us have frickin crazy childhoods and whatever, and you're like, how can I make this better? Like how can I make an impact and it was by humor. Like I said, I didn't know at the time that it was comedy, I just knew that I had a facility, an ease and facility to find humor and to just share it and a lot of it had to do with you know, being courageous to just say what I was thinking in the moment and find the beat.
Alyssa Dver
Please do keep doing it. You know, my dad, bless his heart he was a hysterical man we used to play a game with him like named the word and he'd come up you know, at some joke that kind of reminded remembered them he missed his calling should have been a Borscht Belt, comedian, you know, doing this, this. And I love the fact that you've taken this skill and this attitude, this mojo, this gift and you've turned it into a career, and you know you're speaking you're coaching you do all these cool things. And you said it was its courage. You know that kind of made you funny, and maybe it's courage that push you to say, I got to do this for a living, and I can't do anything else. Ever look back over the shoulder and go, I should have gone a different direction? Or there's any doubt in your mind? And I don't know anyone who's made a career out of being a Chief Happiness Officer with a comedic side, you are one of a kind for sure.
Brooklyn Dicent
Thank you. Thank you. Well, you know, it's interesting, because when I was 16, well, 15 or 16 years old. So, we were also born in Christians, right? So, at around 12, my parents found Jesus. And so, I did too, right? And so, I'm like, oh, I guess this is this is what we do and what we do now. And it was an interesting transition. And one day, my dad, I remember now let me go back. I was around 12. And he says, hey, you're gonna do the sermon. This weekend, you're gonna do the main sermon for the populate for the congregation? And my answer was like, heck, yeah. Like, okay, cool. And then I'm like, well, what I talked about, he goes, you know, take a week decide, and whatever. And I wrote my first sort of talk. I never been in front of an audience like this. It was about 100, a member of about 170 people in this congregation. And let's just say he's emcee, the pastor, he is the emcee, he introduced me. And I come on to the stage. And I remember taking, I was already doing comedy, I was, there was like a podium. And so, I moved away from the podium, and went to the edge of the stage, and asked the people, do you want to tap into the genius of God? And people like, oh, you know, at 12 what, the, my guess? And then and then I went on, and it was funny. It was interesting. People were just, you know, amen. Amen. And everywhere, and, and right, then I thought, oh, this is it. Yeah, this is it right here. So again, I didn't know what it was called. And then and so I did a few sermons here and there. And people were just loving it. And we were like, now can you bring your daughter back and whatever. So, you know, I was getting callbacks in church, or I think callbacks as I bring her back, you know, back by popular demand. And so, it was a lot of fun. Mostly because I was connecting with the spirit, the energy of the people. I'm like, this is a lot of fun.
So then one day, I was flipping through the channels on 15-16 years old. And there was this man on TV, just, I thought it was preaching, but he just was making me feel good, but wasn't talking about God or Jesus. And I thought, what is this? Back in the day, we didn't have Google really yet. So, I have to go library because I got his name. And I went to search for who this guy was what happened to be Les Brown. And he was doing a PBS special right and I'm like, I this is what I look at TV right? Then I'm like, this is what I want to do. What this guy's doing, I want to do for everybody. And everybody and it doesn’t have to be Christ centered, but it's making me feel good and believing in myself because again, I was trying to figure out really what I wanted to do, but how do we elevate our lives from very early and then I decided right then at 16 I'm going to be a motivational speaker.
The first thing I do is I get old. So, I waited and actually it was a statement- I gotta get old and because I'm like, I have no experience. I have no life yet. I haven't lived anything. People are not listening to me. And so, I got old, and I kid you not I said I'll do it around 40 and almost to that no to the day. I actually got to meet him when I was 40 live backstage. So, I told the story to somebody, and they got me backstage, and it was like meeting my idol. Am I like you have inspired me my entire life because this is what I wanted to do? So, I knew right then right but you get signals and signs in terms of your path, right? And you just gotta pay attention. Oh, and right. And then as I was getting old, I was learning comedy, right? So, I was learning comedy and doing standup comedy. And I, it was okay. But I found that me going up there telling just my jokes was boring. I'm like, why would this be not exciting. And then one day, I decided, I'm just going to go off the cuff and start doing whatever I want to do on stage. And then when, when it was such a great hit, I thought, how can I do this in a corporate environment? Because talking to a bunch of drunks is one thing. But right, talking to sober people and helping them find humor and laughter and joy in their life, that's another. You know, because nobody wants to be in their job. So, I'm like, you know, in fact, I want companies to hire me to get people out. That's what I that's what I want to do. But that's you don't make money that way. So, I'm like, how do I blend the two. And I'm like, Chief happiness officer would be the title that people will pay attention to. And I kid you not, I just, I just call myself that. And that's what it is. And so, my job was to blend humor, and laughter and comedy, in a corporate environment and talk about courage to do that, to get on stage, and to have people act a fool onstage in front of their peers. It turns out, Alyssa, I learned this, from actually performing in front of middle schoolers.
I learned that middle schoolers love to get on stage and perform for their peers. Well, guess what we haven't done, babe, grow up. And we all love to perform in front of our peers. And so, the minute I one day, I just got an idea. I might just get on stage. I was doing my bit, which is that video I told you about on YouTube, I was doing something, and I asked a question. And some woman came up and she was coming up from the audience. She grabbed her, like she had like a, like a cardigan, or like a like a sweater and just waved it over her head. I mean, this was over at 8am in the morning, and she was so excited. And people were laughing. And she got on stage. And she said, and she got on stage. She goes, I had such a migraine that on the way up here it disappeared. Oh, God, I love it. Yeah, I mean, and it's because she was connecting to her humorous soul and was being courageous to get on stage in front of peers, and it made all the difference. And so that's why, you know, I decided I'm like, this is what I get to keep doing. So once that hit and landed, and I'm like, this is what I'm gonna keep doing. Because people need this. I mean, you clear.
Alyssa Dver
There's no question. I mean, like, and you don't need to be interviewed, you can just keep going, I'm just gonna sit here and just like not awesome. But you know what, here's the thing, we our audience, we talk about confidence, you know, those who came through all our programs and stuff, you know, that confidence is kind of the root of everything here and you keep using the word courageous, I use your confidence. And the difference that I use is that when you're confident, you have enough information to know that if there's something you can do, you're talking about bringing people up where they really are kind of like just let's do it. And they don't even think twice, or maybe they're not thinking hard. And they go and they do and that's amazing. I'm really curious, in terms of, you know, when you're seeing these people kind of cross that threshold, they get, you know, that you were lassoing, the sweater and stuff, you know, they have these moments of like exhilaration, talk to me a little bit about some of the longer term stuff that you see, as a result, you know, you're going to do your thing. How does that transform people? How does comedy? courageousness? How are these things really, you know, not just in the moment that you show up, but long after you go? What do you hear from people?
Brooklyn Dicent
Such a great question, you know, a few weeks ago, I want to say, well, well, three weeks ago, I did a keynote for a company. And this company happens to have a technology, that is of all ironies, it's a technology designed for churches. Full circle for churches, and I was like, hallelujah, I get to combine comedy. And you know, my religious background to this into this company. Last night, I got a text from one from the client. And she says, Brooklyn, I don't even know how to where to begin, we need to have a phone call because somebody approached me last night, they were at some sort of event. And this man was so moved, but by what you said and what you did, and how you blended faith-based information with technology. He says he's never seen it. And it made him think so differently that literally the next day after our event. He, you know, he was working with his with his employees and he started to not implement but say some of the things he was saying that I had said to his employees to change the environment, right? To find joy, find him and find the happiness around us and how do we do it? Long term effective.
Here's what I've discovered throughout this entire process. It's very simple when people literally give themselves permission. Give yourself permission. To be your authentic self, it revolutionizes not just myself but the people around them. Why? Because we are taught from very early, right from childhood on through, to sit down, to be quiet, to be small, to do less to not be seen, don't be too much, you're sitting, right, we're pushed down so much that, that we have our capacity to do more, but we haven't given ourselves permission to do that. So, every time I'm on stage, every time it does, it doesn't fail, there will be people that will come up on stage in some way somehow, and I know it, and those people are transformed because they give themselves permission, the moment they step them, even before they get out of the chair. They're like, oh, I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna be the person. And that moment of permission. It transcends their fear factor is like no, no, I can. Because I said yes, you can.
When I got on stage as a comedian. I said, you know, I know how people heckle. We are going to have a conversation. Yes, you can talk to me. And I get people in my shows and in my keynote’s permission. It I gotta say my entire career, I've never been heckled, quote, unquote, I get heckled in corporate environments. Like, can we have more? Okay. So, you know, it's so it's a good heckling. But when people get permission to perform permission to proceed. And that's it. And that's what I've discovered is people have the permission to be their authentic self. That's what confidence does, and to me confidence, especially after your training. What it did for me was to recognize, oh, wait a minute. confidence comes when you believe in yourself. And then you do the thing.
When you have knowledge and information, and go oh, yes, I could. And so that level of permission is oh, yes. I can't be in front of people. Yes, I am funny. We all have the capacity to be humorous. But what I found that the strongest emotion to get people that permission is humor and laughter. The strongest emotion to give people that permission and to do the thing and to become confident is humor. Because, you know, people say that the closest you can be to someone is laughter. Yeah. Right, your brain opens up to love of the other human, right? The minute you and I came on screen, we'd love instantly, because there's a sense of not just knowing each other, but you know, sense of joy. And that's what we're looking for is the sense of joy. And when you have joy in your heart or you engage in it, you gave yourself permission to proceed to do whatever you want.
Alyssa Dver
Oh, can I say amen, girl?
Brooklyn Dicent
Come on. Yes.
Alyssa Dver
You know, it's really fascinating. You're saying that, on so many levels, I think that the permission or it is really strong right now. In fact, I got asked the other day to do a talk on giving permission to show up to work with their “B-game”, which for me, I was like, what, you know, we're all we all talk about high performance, we talk about, you know, really doing your best being your best self and all that and right now, and probably for a really long time hereafter, you know, giving yourself permission to do and feel and be who you want to be that minute that day. Yeah, that's beautiful. I want to come back a little bit to the connection of comedy and confidence. Because, yes, I just, I wonder how many people are out there that want to be funny? Do you fundamentally believe that anyone can be funny?
Brooklyn Dicent
Well, here's the interesting thing. Let's talk about being funny. From a comedic standpoint, and just having humor in your life and accepting it, right? From a comedic standpoint, let's just be clear that there as a standup comedian on stage, it's an art form. And so, there are people who say, who let me just say this in anyone who's listened to me right now, must be to uncover your unconscious mind. If you have been wanting to get on stage, grab a mic and look into a dark room full of people and make them laugh. Go do it. Just do it. Go take a class, which is why they take a class in a week class, learn how the mechanics of humor, watch your favorite comedians learn the mechanics, not to imitate them, because they're their models. Yeah. And so, there is a craft to comedy, you need to understand, you know that not just the writing process, but the performance process. You need to also understand what happens when you spent all this time on a joke, and it doesn't land. I play with it. Am I Well, that was too soon? Well, I gotta go back now. No, good. Forget it. Thank you for the feedback. I appreciate that. That was great. It was it was funnier, my head, whatever. And you play with it. And when you're playful, people freaking love you. So, there's a craft to comedy standup comedy. No. And oftentimes, you get people on stage who are not you like how's this guy funny, but because the outcome is laughter right?
When you tap into your personal humor, sense of humor, we all have it. Right? And here's, here's, here's the interesting caveat. Back to permission, is allow yourself to laugh even if it's just for you. Right? Even if it's just for you, it's fun. You find it funny. Bring it you find it funny, and then you share Somebody you tell somebody, and they find you. Because the point of humor from a human standpoint, right is to share that. Because humor is contagious. And the moment that you laugh at something that you like people don't ever all day, every day with Tick Tock and Instagram is sending each other videos like guy look at this guy, right? And then you both laugh, you just shared your humor. So, I you know, I definitely is a become a chief, you know, humor officer, but sharing humor is giving us permission to laugh, permission to experience that joy of what you're watching and seeing a little bit different than being a comedian. So, if you want to be a comedian, I can see myself on stage then go learn the tools, that's it. You're not gonna you're gonna get you're gonna, you know, I was gonna say, you know, it's like, gonna be not great in the beginning. And right, but the thing about comedy, and confidence is tapping into your truth. Yeah, yes. Right. Have you seen comedians you go? Oh my gosh, that is so what is true, right? They say something you love, you go, oh my gosh, that is so true. Because you experience it. Right? And the best of the best comedians that we see nationally, are people who are tapped in who just went deep and tapped into their truth and now are sharing with us the audience their point of view. Now in such a way that is comedic but it's true. One of my favorite ones is Wanda Sykes. She's a phenomenal performer and every time she's talking about you watch the top people it is their life their truth their experience has, they seen it and they have a twist that makes people laugh that's an art form. You have to understand what you know there's mechanics behind it. But if you want to do it, when it when it comes to level of confidence, I'm gonna tell you right now there's no more nothing more confident than you are sitting on stage and telling you truth regardless of the outcome.
Alyssa Dver
Yeah. Oh, oh, God. Yeah, absolutely. You know, and that yes, can you just, you know, that's not to be underrated. I think that your energy, anybody's positive energy, but yours in particular, it's infectious. It's contagious. I remember again, I'll refer to my dad who really was particularly hysterical person. You know, he would laugh harder on his own jokes than anyone else and we would laugh because of that right? Yes. So, you know, is saying I just My heart is pounding in such a loving way. So, you know, last question for you because like, man, I could just talk to you forever. It just makes me so happy. Yes, did your job girl
Brooklyn Dicent
I did my job he did your job. Yeah!
Alyssa Dver
Think you gave some really good advice about getting craft and all that and, and just being funny, but I, you know, I think that most people would be nervous to even try and be funny, right? What do you tell people? Like how do you how do you start to be funny? What is this something that you can do not as a professional comic, but you want to be a little bit more entertaining. You want to be a little bit more happy for people and give them that contagious? more important. What do we do?
Brooklyn Dicent
Let me tell you, it's so easy. It's shocking. It's so easy as shocking. And for those of you who are listening to who are connected to this and like oh my god, I but I have so much you, it's in your heart you want to get it out. Here's why people get nervous was quote unquote, testing out their comedy or their humor is it's the picture in your head. If you are seeing the picture in your head, you see before you do it, if you see people either like giving you a negative response or whatever, that's what's keeping us back. It's the picture in our head of what we think people are going to do and say right and here here's the kicker am tell you right now is so easy is going to blow you away.
Do the opposite. Put a picture in your mind full screen video in your mind of what it would be like when you are funny or when you share your humor and people laughing? And here's the thing even if they don't laugh notice how you react, you're like okay, I guess that was my great edge Okay, just for me. The it's just the picture is the mind movie we play in our in our heads around how something is going to be in the future, we future pace it negatively. Because our brain has the capacity to do exactly what we picture. And the picture creates an emotion the emotion creates a physical reaction and that we do what we don't. Right so I always say if you want to change results, change the picture. And so, if you want to share, you know your humor So again, the reason why it's so non-technical, is because truly, truly, truly your brain operates your behavior operates based on what you see. Right and so we don't get nervous. The reason why they're getting nervous it doesn't come out of nowhere it's because what you're picturing people you know, ridiculing you not understanding putting you down that's when we picture let me why we are picturing those things. Let's say it's because we're feeling it and the strongest emotion is what drives the behavior.
So instead of looking at the negative emotion, go Okay, let me just in my mind's eye, close my eyes and just picture people really responding to what I said. And adding to it and making the connection to it. You start really feeling good about it like Okay, great. And then and then what happens almost automatically your brain will say, oh, this is the funny thing. Sure, go do it's like using the movie. Inside Out, right? look people in the head, right? That's me. I have little people in my head all the time. And they're like yeah, go do it. And then once and here's back to what we talked about in confidence. Once you follow through, and you do it and it lands you get excited, you go with it again, and starts to build confidence because now you have enough information that corroborates that you are on the right path. I love to. Change the picture change your life,
Alyssa Dver
Change your picture, change your life on that note, best way to find you because you are infectious, and I know people are going to want to reach out and have you talk for their organizations. Well, it's the best way to do that.
Brooklyn Dicent
Brooklynhappiness.com That's easy. I love it. Yes, Brooklynhappiness.com you'll see all kinds of good stuff in there. And yeah, have a conversation and you know here's what I tell people all the time. Even if you just want to laugh, we have in a moment I tell them, call me, text me, email me. Go Brooklyn, please make me laugh. I will send you a message personally. And you will laugh, or we get on the phone and laugh.
Alyssa Dver
You’re in trouble now cuz I'm gonna fill your inbox. Hey, listen, if you're out there and you're listening, I warned you I hope you strapped down because that was a fun frickin fun ride and it is just you know, I don't even know I'm at a loss of words. I'm smiling so hard my cheeks. I get to do some really cool things in my career and my work and when I get to meet people like you Brooklyn, I literally have to like pinch myself going I'm so friggin lucky. So, thank you so much for being here. Thank you for being part of my world.
Brooklyn Dicent
You're so welcome. Thank you for having me. Love you and love all the people. Meet soon.
Alyssa Dver
Right back at ya. So, before we completely wrap up, I want to let you know that full transcripts and show notes for this and other episodes can be found on the website, www.AmericanConfidenceInstitute.com/podcast. I also want to remind you once again, that the best way to get confidence for yourself is to give it to others. And you can do it so easily just by liking and sharing this episode on your favorite social media channels. You can even give me some confidence fuel by sending in any comments about the topics I've covered, or ones you'd like me to consider for the future. So, for now, this is Alyssa Dver, thank you for helping to bring more confidence to the world.
This podcast was produced by Mindful Media. All rights reserved by Alyssa Dver and the American Confidence Institute. Music written and performed by Jeff Weinstein.