EP 140: Real Confidence- When Your Past Hijacks Your Current Confidence

In my last episode, I took a swing at the idea of resilience and why “just be more resilient” is about as useful as telling someone to calm down. Because you can be perfectly capable, smart and self-aware and still find yourself reacting in ways that make absolutely no sense to you.

This conversation with Cedric Bertelli picks up where I left off.

Cedric has spent years studying what happens when emotions keep showing up long after the situation that created them is over. Anxiety. Anger. Fear. That feeling of being stuck in a reaction you can't quite explain. 

His premise is fascinating: some of these reactions are your brain running an outdated prediction based on something it learned earlier. And when those old predictions are running the show, they can mess with your confidence in ways that are easy to miss.

We talk about what those reactive patterns can look like, why we get so good at managing them without actually resolving them and why we sometimes mistake an emotional pattern for “just who I am.” We also get into resilience, which led to one of those moments where I thought, Oh. That's a completely different way to look at it.

And then Cedric gives me a very specific exercise for what to do when one of those emotional reactions hits. It is simple. It is counterintuitive. And apparently, if he's right, it can actually update the prediction your brain is making.

I can't wait for you to try it. Because confidence isn't much use if your brain has already decided you're in danger.

A few things we get into:

  • Why an emotional reaction can feel completely real even when it no longer fits your reality
  • Why we sometimes build our personality around something that was actually a coping mechanism
  • What your body may be telling you before you consciously understand what's happening
  • Why “be more resilient” may be missing the point entirely
  • What Cedric says to do when a recurring emotional reaction shows up

Cedric Bertelli has over 15 years of experience in developing and delivering Emotional Resolution® (EmRes®), a groundbreaking method that helps people overcome emotional difficulties by tapping into their innate physiological capacity. As the founder and director of the Emotional Health Institute, Cedric leads a team of dedicated professionals who share his vision of empowering individuals and communities to achieve emotional well-being. You can learn more about Cedric at cedricbertelli.com.